In many ways, it's been an utterly overwhelming week.
I have been stressed out, tired and way too busy, feeling like I have so much to do (I really do). I phoned my dad yesterday and when he asked if I was okay I burst into tears. Okay, so not great, and I'm still feeling a little overwhelmed, and utterly unproductive, despite setting aside today for what I thought would be a good productive working day (uni work that is) wasn't exactly so. I think I try to do too much at the same time, and then feel bad when I'm not working on the other thing, and it's all a bit stressful at the minute. I got some results back yesterday, which while they were good, and I should be pleased with them, I was at the same time disappointed becasue I had put so much work in and worked so hard, and still only done alright, when other people don't bother and do so much better than I do. Life's not fair is it?
Writing wise, I have done quite a bit of productive editing in the evenings (only an hour here and there, but it all helps) and am definitely on an up again. My mood yesterday and my decision to take a couple of hours utterly unwork related, mainly because I couldn't focus on anything and my dad told me to go buy coffee (any excuse) I did some free writing, just whatever came into my head, for the first time in ages. It was nice to write something other than my wip's, and good I think to do so. Rather interesting what I ended up with. Reminds me that I need time off from everything, even if I'm not very good at doing it - tonight's another example, although I'm hoping tomorrow will be more productive, with no excuses. *fingers crossed*
Feeling a little better now, and I'm hoping that the next few weeks will be okay. They should be, there's just so much to do - dissertation reading, dissertation extract to write, children's lit essay, children's lit presentation, lines to learn, weekly reading to do... but you know what, I don't want to complain (I'm aware that's what I'm doing) and I will stop now. I'm not going to do any more work tonight.. I don't think...
It's not the end of the world anyway, a few grades and essays? It doesn't matter, as my dad reminded me. It's just hard to remember that sometimes.
One last thing, before I end this moan; I was struck rather suddenly yesterday when I went out and had my coffee and sat observing everyone, as usual, and reading/writing. There was a little girl,and what must have been her carer behind me in the queue; the little girl had a hearing aid and a stick. She must have been about five or six, yet she seemed so happy and she was chattering away. It made me feel like, really, I don't have much to worry about. What are a few grades? It certainly made me think.
Anyway, off to do something productive...