Thursday, 23 February 2012

Challenge.

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.

The inspiration/characters for this come from the new thing that I've been writing.

I was about to write 'it's really short'.. but that's kinda the point, so I won't. Here you go:

Shadows crept across the wall. Rose pulled her bedcovers up around her tightly, and watched them. She wasn’t afraid anymore.

And if they were coming for her, she was powerful enough to fight them away. Yet she knew that if they were coming, they would be coming for him, for Joseph.

She was ice cold; but she no longer noticed that. She had long grown used to the feeling that she was living within a fridge. She closed her eyes, and listened, pushing the shadows away. She could hear the wind coming nearer, roaring and whirling as it raced its way towards her, and she knew, as the shadows crept closer, and the wind grew closer, that it was nearly time.

She kept her eyes closed and concentrated harder.

He had taught her well; for the winds seemed to retreat as she concentrated and soon she was at the centre of the storm – the eye of the storm as they said, and it was nothing but a breeze swirling around her.

Rose smiled to herself, a smile full of knowledge and confidence.

It wasn’t time for him to go. Not quite yet. As she opened her eyes, the shadows recoiled.

34 comments:

  1. Excellent description. We had a storm last night and you pretty much nailed my feelings about it (minus the magic part - that would be awesome). Nice one! :)

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    1. Thanks so much! That's very kind of you! :) X

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  2. I'm glad I jumped down to the bottom of the list or I would have missed this. There are so many entries, it's taking a long time to get through them. I liked the suspense and the way Rose was able to control the wind. Nice job!

    (BTW, I'm Susan from My Withershins. Don't let the Humpty Dumpty name fool you. For some reason Blogspot doesn't always let us Wordpress folks comment, so I'm using an old ID)

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    1. Thank you... there are tonnes of entries aren't there? I need to sit down and read some! Thank you so much.

      Awesome.. no worries! That makes sense! x

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  3. Nice :D I´d like to get to know the characters more, so you pulled me in with those 200 words :D

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  4. We had a storm last night, too! It was really windy and I felt the same way!! Love your descriptive language! I could have kept reading if you'd written more... Great job :)

    I'm entry #19

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    1. Oh awesome! Thanks so much! Glad you liked it! :) x

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  5. Power over a storm would be a good one to have. Very compelling.

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  6. I would like that particular superpower! :)

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    1. It would be a good one wouldn't it! x

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  7. Love your voice. It's so real. Great job!

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  8. I found myself most intrigued by the "he" mentioned here. Then I have lots of questions like why did Rose have to raise her power? What do the shadows want? and so many more.
    Thanks for sharing with us. :)

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    1. Definitely interesting questions... thanks! Am working on and still getting to know these characters which is always interesting! Its a pleasure! :) x

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  9. I like it! Great feeling in the words. I'm voting for it.

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  10. I really like Rose, she seems very wise. :)

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  11. Very interesting story leaving so many questions unanswered. I'd like to see the whole thing to find out why the shadow wanted him and not her, etc.

    I'm number 148. My entry is a prolog for my book.
    Oh yeah, Hello from your MG/YA group.

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    1. Indeed.. I am working on those answers and getitng to know the characters! Thanks for reading! :)

      Nice to meet you! :) x

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  12. Nooo! Don't leave hanging with so many questions! I want to know more! :-)

    Nice job!

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    1. I'm sorry! Thanks, glad you enjoyed it! :) x

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  13. A great story. I, too, want to know more!!

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  14. I have questions too! But I did like it! Who was he? He can't be the storm (I took it you were talking of a hurricane/cyclone), because they are always named after females? Inrigued!

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    1. Thanks! I'm glad! :) Ooh, that's really interesting - he's not the storm - but that defintiely got me thinking more about this story (as its the characters from something bigger I'm working on); I had never considered that about storms, thanks! xx

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  15. Nice! I have to wonder who Joseph is, and if he was the one who taught her to use her power - does he have power to fight off the storm too? :)

    PS: I had problems leaving a comment. Could you perhaps turn the captchas off?

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    1. Ahh, all these questions :p

      Oh no... I didn't realise they were even on... I'm really sorry! I'll try and sort it. x

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