Return

Once again, I am back from Fowey, and once again, I am so sad to be back. I was exhausted when I got back - crawling into bed just after nine. But Monday morning, I woke up so sad not to be waking up to this view:

And eating breakfast outside in the sunshine, on the steps, with some lovely people.

I've got used to it now, being back, and I was happy to be able to get on with some proper writing (I made scribbles while I was away, but nothing like just getting on with something). It was a wonderful week. And one of those strange times when it both raced by, but at the same time, it was as if we had been there forever.

The week started off wet and windy. At the start of the week, I didn't know any of the other student volunteers, but by the end of the week, we were close and all so sad to say goodbye to one another! I could easily have gone down to Falmouth with them - that's how hard it was to say goodbye.

Anyway, the first weekend most of us were helping out with the Family Fun Weekend at Trenython, which was new for this year. The theme was Inspired by Nature. Despite the wind and rain, it was a great weekend. I was put on the role of helping with the author events, which was enormous fun and meant I got to meet lovely authors, such as Liz Kessler (author of North of Nowhere).

There was lots of other things going on, such as den building, seed planting, camp fire cooking, and willow making.

Monday was the first day we were all in the town. After a briefing, and all clad in our bright green tshirts, which became quite a feature of the week, we set off on our different tasks. There was lots going on throughout the week, and our roles ranged from different things, such as giving out information, front of house, helping with Waterstones, and much more!

It was great to be back in Fowey, of course, and to see everything I love - and talk lots of Daphne! One of the events I was able to attend was one of Laura Varnham's reading group on Frenchman's Creek. It was fascinating, and relit my obsession quite fully! I now want to reread everything once again, and get utterly absorbed (not a bad thing). Other great events I attended included Helen Taylor, Veronica Henry and Ruth Rendell.

I drank lots of coffee and cider, ate lots of fudge, pink iced buns, and ice cream, spent time on the beach in the glorious sunshine, walked though fields and around Fowey, laughed a lot, wrote, read, met lots of lovely people, and had an ace time. It was the best week.

It was funny too to be staying at the same place I had the previous year, although upgraded in a caravan, and revisiting the same beach that I had first started windsurfing. I can't believe that was only a year ago!

It all already seems a long time ago now. Sigh.

On the plus side, I have settled down to some serious writing this week. I nearly have a first draft of my dissertation creative piece done, and I've been busy editing Treading Water (once again). Phew!

It's all over!

I've handed my dissertation and my last essay in. And that's it. It's all over. Done. I don't think that it's quite sunk in yet and that I don't have anything else left to do regarding my undergraduate degree. I hadn't really thought about the after (when do I ever?) and so now a long period of time stretches out in front of me. What next?

I have just applied for a masters course in creative writing, here in Exeter, which hopefully I'll get onto, so that's something for the next two years (I'm going to do it part time I think, and then I can work as well. I feel that that would be a good thing to do....) and I'm excited about moving onto this next step, and being able to stay here in Exeter. Yay!

I'm looking forward to being able to focus on some proper writing in the next few weeks, and months, and be able to sort out everything that I've abandoned since focusing on my dissertation and stuff. Lots of editing to do! I suppose in many ways, I don't feel finished, or like I have nothing left to do, because all those things that I want to do, like ediitng and writing and all of that, have now just moved to the front of the queue, if you get what I mean and so in that respect I still have lots of stuff to do. Which I like. It's kind of scary to have finished this stage in my life... it's a very weird feeling. I'm kinda glad that I'm hopefully staying on.

Lots of the Glee kids are about to graduate high school (in the TV show) and although I got annoyed with how ridiculous it got, and only kept watching because of Blaine/Darren Criss, it's weird how the last few episodes have really made me think about the fact that I'm going to be graduating soon.. it's strange how it ties in and kind of corresponds to me... as many of them are uncertain about their futures or not sure what they want to do, I feel in kind of the same place, although not at the same time. It's made me quite emotional recently actually... oh dear.

On an unrelated note, but sort of related because this happened after I handed all my work in yesterday, I saw the Queen! And Philip! She came to open a new university building. It was very very exciting, and she even waved at us. Very exciting to actually see her in real life! It was wonderful. And it turned out to be such a warm day which was lovely, and I spent it with a lovely group of friends, which was all very unplanned, but worked out so well. Yay!!

Finally - I've reached the end of this academic year |(sort of ) and kept a blog the whole time - yay! Go me!

dissertation woes

The last week and a bit has absoutely flown by. In that time I've got back to Exeter. I made it back in one piece, although the rain fall since I've been here has been crazy. Oh well. It's absoutely wonderful to see friends again, although since Tuesday I've been mostly stuck at home, trying to finish this disseration and this essay.

I've got to the point where I'm not really getting anything productive done in the day - I keep getting really distracted by stupid things, I got a really good couple of hours back in my favourite cafe yesteday which was really good, but today hasn't been so good. I keep making small silly changes and trying to reread it, and I'm getting to the point where I'm thinking when do I stop? when do I say that's that? I'm fully concious of the fact I have to get it bound, which I want to do sooner rather than later, ideally tomorrow or Monday. But is tomorrow too soon? I'm thinking of leaving it until Monday... but... I don't know.. it's hard to know. Because once I've done that, that's it. Arggggh. I know it's not 'perfect', but I don't think ther'es much more I can do really.

I've also got my essay to finish and I keep umming over that too. That can be finished more last minute as it doesn't have to be bound or anything, so I'm telling myself to leave that until after the weekend. Oh man, I'm so bad at taking time off! And less than a week to go until hand in. At the same time I'm a perfectionist, I also can't wait to get it all in, and.... I don't know. I shouldn't be getting so stressed out but I am. I keep going from 'yeah it'll do', to 'this is rubbish and awful'. I suppose that's when I should take a break. A couple of people have read it (my disseration) which has been very helpful, but I still don't know. The thing is I think I always want to do what's right, when really I should do what's right for me, or what my gut's telling me....

I suppose in many ways its like writing (creatively). It's the nature of editing and rewriting. I'm never satisifed with what I write. Or even if I am, you always feel that its not quite right... do you know what I mean? I suppose it's knowing when it's the right time to stop.  When do you know though? I always, and I know other people have the same dilmenas and thoughts, swing between loving something and then hating it. At the minute I hate one of my projects and I'm ready to give it up, but then in the back of my mind I think, well I spent so long working on it... don't give it up... yet. And then other things seem more enchanting or much more fun to work on, and I suppose it's better to work on them for the time being. As long as I'm doing something. I got a little sidetracked here, I apologise. It's nearly over.

One last thing - the blogspot change.... it confuses me. I'm one of those people who hates change and it is just baffling to me this new layout. I'm sure I'll get used to it, but I keep clicking on the wrong buttons.